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red pumps and cadillac blues

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(no subject) [Oct. 4th, 2007|12:44 am]
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Excerpt from Part Six: Christmas, 1975. The Shoebox Project. [Aug. 2nd, 2007|12:47 am]
Remus Lupin to Sirius Black, Christmas Hols, Same day

Padfoot, surrounded by opulence --

Such riches. What with those biscuits and the Christmas Puddings I will return to school to find you, bloated and beached as a whale, sprawled out in a hidden passageway, lost forever. It will be a great tragedy and I will write a novel about it, which will sell millions, and you will live on always in literature. It will be a most moving story. I can just see it now.

And there we found him, eyes still open, lips still smelling of brandy. His beloved Christmas Pudding lay half finished beside him, strewn across the dusty corridor. Behind him was all blackness, and his friends, laying down their pride, their masculinity, their self-respect, wept great tears for their fallen comrade, slain by Holiday Baking and Too Much Good Cheer. They bowed their heads over him in silence. He had not even
unwrapped his presents before his arteries exploded within his chest.

What say you, Sirius? Up for being immortalized in hardback forever and ever? You shall be a sung hero. Rare that heroes get singing about.

Especially the sort who die of Christmas Pudding.
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manslaves. yes. [Aug. 1st, 2007|11:20 pm]
[Current Mood |buzzed]

I have decided to turn my journal into an unofficial "Best of The Shoebox Project" collection. I'm reading through SBP, again, and I'll post my favorite quotes, because they are love.


Excerpt from Party Twenty-Four: June, 1977

Lily “The Legs” Evans,

You should take this show on the road that’s what. And then when we walk down the streets men will stop and stare and say Isn’t that Lily “The Legs” Evans from Busty and Bewitched, the centerfold what ruined me for all other women in the world, and then other men would say Why yes it is and there’s no other woman in the world for me, so busty and bewitched is Lily “The Legs.” And then I would break all their noses and carry you away whereupon I would ravish you in our boudoir of leggy love.

You know funny thing about Remus, I have a picture of him where it looks like his lower lip is launching a mounted attack against the upper one. Mysterious man that Remus Lupin. Tell him and Pete we are all in excellent form, except of course that we are BESEIGED BY BUGS, and so long as the mosquito lives in this world ours is a life plagued by injustice and scratching inappropriately in public. So in other words Ha Ha What Else Is New.

Lily, speaking of pictures, these pictures will never be burnt. You are the loveliest female-shaped person on the planet and in the future when you have born children and you complain of all the imperfections which I of course will be completely blind to I shall take out these photographs and hand them to you with a flourish and then we shall have more INCREDIBLE SEX. Old person sex but SEX nonetheless. It’ll be a good day, then. You’ll see. And do I know how to sweet-talk a woman or what?!

I turned myself transparent the other day. I asked Sirius if he could see your name written upon the ventricles of my heart and he hit me with a large piece of firewood. Then he spent the rest of the day as we slowly regained our opaque…hood with an oven mitt in front of his chest, though where he got that oven mitt I have no idea.

Love is the defiance of common sense, commonly, and et cetty rah. Feeling’s mutual. Legs, PHWOAR, have I mentioned?

Yours daily and nightly and ever so rightly, James Potter


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